Notes from a hypnotist how to repair a broken new year s resolution part 1

How long did it take to break your New Year’s resolution this year? You haven’t yet? You are one of the rare few. Why so rare? Because many resolutions are made as a cultural custom—it’s what we “do” every year at this time. And for the majority, the custom of breaking a resolution is as strong a part of the tradition as making it. In their hearts, most people expect it to happen. As a hypnotherapist, the post-New Year’s crowds are already breaking down my doors. But must we behave the same way every new year? No. How to prevent it or repair it? Read on. Mistakes We Make The reasons we often fail at keeping our resolution—though we’re experts at making them!—are the following. Notice which of these common reasons are yours, and then choose to make a positive change in the resolutions you select, how you construct them, and how you share them. Here’s the scoop on what can go wrong and how to avoid it. Mistake 1: The Resolution Is Too Complicated or Severe “I’ll never eat another candy bar again, never-ever!” is too severe (unless you’ve been strongly advised by your doctor). Here’s what too-complicated sounds like: “I’ll work out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, unless Monday is a holiday, or I walk to work three times or more that week, or I go out drinking and can’t get up early enough.” The logic may be sound, but rather than including all those ifs, ands, and buts in creating the resolution, go with the flow as life happens. Figure you’ll work out three times a week. If you wake up late one morning, get up early another day and work out then instead. It’s common sense, but many people miss it. Overall learning: if the resolution isn’t working, re-think it. Mistake 2: It’s All About What You Won’t Do—Nothing About What You Will Do People need a good mixture of do’s and don’ts, will’s and won’ts to get the job done right. Instead of just a list of what you won’t eat so as to lose weight, also include your new preferred menu. For some of us the preferred items alone will do the job. But knowing only what you’re cutting out, and nothing about what you’re including in, makes Jane a sad, confused girl. So if you want to lose that extra weight, say something: “I will emphasize fruit, vegetables and sugar-free drinks as snacks, and move away from sugary, fatty snacks.” If you’re like many of my clients, thinking only of the first half (what you CHOOSE to eat) is sufficient. That way you need not concentrate on what you’re “losing out on.” Know yourself and experiment. Side note: Just declaring what you will do isn’t sufficient; you’ll also need to make that trip down the fruit and veggie aisle. Overall learning: Turn a ‘won’t do’ resolution into something that will give you direction—a ‘will do’ resolution! Mistake 3: You’re Denying An Important Need or Desire If you overeat, over-drink, or have sex with people you don’t really want to be having sex with, there’s probably something you’re missing. A need that is going unfulfilled. Have an honest talk with yourself, a smart and loyal friend, or a counselor, therapist or hypnotist, and find that thing, and get it fulfilled in some healthy way. You may need time to work through it, but that’s okay; the rewards will be great. Ignore it and that undesirable behavior will keep returning, sometimes more fiercely. Overall learning: Figure out what’s been left unfulfilled and work on getting it satisfied or restructured positively. Mistake 4: You Expect to Fail An old friend of mine used to make a resolution every new year to lose 15 pounds and keep them off. Sometimes she lost them, and sometimes she didn’t, but the new body never lasted. Now that I’ve been a hypnotist for around 10 years, the reason is obvious. She always said something like this: “I’m going to lose that 15 pounds this year, I hope” or “I’m going to try to lose those 15 pounds” or ”I’m going to take off the 15 pounds—at least for a while.” Notice how she built failure into every one of those resolutions. Frankly, resolutions are the closest thing to hypnotic suggestions. Build in failure and you’ve practically hypnotized yourself to fail. Overall learning: Ask yourself what kind of support, help, or learning you need to succeed; then proceed to get them. Mistake 5: You’re Not Getting Support – Or You’re Getting Negative Support Whether your quest this year is to lose weight, run a triathalon, get a great new job, or find a life partner, tell only people who will support you. If the friend or relative is unsupportive, envious, or spiteful regarding your endeavor, don’t use him or her as a sounding board. In fact, don’t even tell him/her about your goal or decision until it’s a done deal. It’s really okay to share only with supporters or cheerleaders and avoid the naysayers who don’t have helpful, valid objections. If you have close relatives you “should” tell but are afraid they’ll disrupt your momentum, disclose only when you’re so in-the-flow that you’re bulletproof. Overall learning: Your best defense is to watch and listen, and then do what you need to do to protect your goal. For more on this, read Part 2, “Notes From A Hypnotist: Creating A New Year That’s Way Better Than Last Year.” ©2008 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz. All rights reserved.

7 Great tips on using your free affirmations

Affirmations are a simple and effective way to influence your subconscious mind. It is quite easy for you to search the Internet to find tones of free affirmations in various categories. I have also written another article on how you can write your own affirmations. But this one is going to focus on ways to increase their power! Remember that it is always better to stick to a certain group of affirmations for a while, since we absorb them faster this way. Also, you should feel the desired result taking place already. Written below are 7 different way to make your free affirmations more powerful… 1. You should get into a relaxed state of mind. When this happens, our conscious minds are less intrusive, thus leaving our subconscious minds wide open. You should use this to your advantage. 2. Repeat them while looking at yourself in the mirror. 3. We all tend to remember rhymes and tunes more easily. So choose your affirmations and just get a bit creative. 4. The times just before sleeping and after waking up are great for influencing the subconscious. So make sure you use them at these times. 5. If you are in a place where it would not be appropriate for you to use them out loud. You can just repeat it to yourself mentally. It helps if you imagine it getting louder and louder. 6. Write them down. This has much more power than just verbally repeating it. I would suggest that you write each one at least 10 times daily or so. Of course, the more you do it the better. 7. Write them down on pieces of paper and stick then around your home or workplace. This way, you are always reminded of them. Just make sure it is a place you visit often. You are probably wondering how long it will take you to see changes in yourself, right? Well, it is scientifically proven that it takes 21 days for one person to change form one habit to another. So don’t lose heart, just keep doing it for a while. Remember, you have an infinite number of free affirmations from which you can choose from!

Do you know your flock

Have you seen the mattress commercial with the little sheep that try to convince mattress buyers to buy their brand? The commercials crack me up every time I see it, and the image of those sheep came to mind recently as I was spending my morning time renewing my mind in The Word and was reading about God having appointed shepherds over His flock. He talked about how the shepherd was just thinking about himself and not taking care of his sheep. I then asked God to show me how this scripture pertains to me. I realized in that moment a different way to think about my business. I am a shepherd and my job is to gather my flock. I have not been taking care of my flock. I had to stop and ask myself, “Do I know who my flock is? Do I know what my flock needs?” Whew! This was truly an eye-opening moment because I thought I had clearly identified my target market, but God was taking it to a higher level. It even prompted me to do a journal entry listing the needs of my flock. It became so wonderfully simple, my job is to gather my flock from all over the world and provide them with what they need to be successful as Christian entrepreneurs and visionaries. As I thought about what I wanted to share this month, I wanted to share a piece of my breakthrough around knowing my flock and providing their needs. You are a Shepard. When you are a Shepard, your sheep recognize and respond to your voice and call. God has created you to oversee a flock that can only hear your voice. Who is your flock? Are they scattered all over the hillsides waiting for you to live your vision? Are they not being taken care of because you are in fear, or busy tending to the daily obligations that fill your calendar, but are not God’s purpose for you? I have an exercise for you (I did it and it WORKS!): Write out a list of who your flock. Who are your sheep? Who were you born to serve? What group of people is in your heart? Who comprises your target market? Once you clearly identify and write down your flock, make a list of what your flock needs. That is what you need to get busy providing for your flock. Now. You see, now is your time. It is time for you to urgently bring forth God’s vision for your life and for you to prosper from your good works. Can you feel it? It’s been trying to get your attention. It’s time to respond bigger and bolder than you ever have before... Even with my huge vision, this exercise opened up areas in which I needed to be taking my business that were further out in my business plan. It changed my priorities. And because I know it is of God, I know it will prosper and unfold in God’s perfection. Try it! Let me know how it works for you. Your flock is waiting for you. Let them hear your call. With Love, Ericka

Stepping out of your comfort zones

Let's face it, there will always be things we fear in life. Some of us fear the obvious "biggies" like heights, spiders, fires or flying. However, many of us develop fears around things that shouldn't hinder us, but often do. Do you fear rejection? Taking risks? Failure? Success? All of us have the tendency to form "comfort zones" around ourselves: boundaries between what makes us feel comfortable, and uncomfortablefort zones are not always bad. Sometimes they can prevent us from doing something stupid or reckless. Most often, however, our comfort zones are built on a belief that may or may not be true. If you've experienced a particularly painful rejection in the past, you might create a comfort zone that will prevent you from "sticking your neck out there" and being rejected again. In this case, the comfort zone itself isn't the problem. The underlying belief that you will be rejected again is the problem. Just because you've been rejected in the past does not mean you will be rejected again in the future. That particular comfort zone will cause you to act in ways that are counterproductive to your own success in life. You will dread meeting new people, getting involved in relationships or even applying for new jobs. Deep inside, part of you will be expecting to be rejected again, and you will do whatever you can to limit the possibility of that happening. Pain isn't fun to experience, and it's amazing how our minds will avoid it at all costs! Maybe you're not even aware of most of your comfort zones. Take a look at your life as it is right now. Are you making as much money as you'd like? Are you happy with your job? Do you love meeting new people and getting to know them? Are you able to set new goals for yourself and achieve them? If you answered yes to these questions, you probably aren't being hindered in any way by your comfort zones. If you answered no to any of these questions, you might have some issues to work through. Here is a simple way to discover if your fears are holding you back: make a list of the worst possible things you can imagine happening. What are your deepest fears? What aspects of your life don't you enjoy? And why? If you don't enjoy meeting new people, ask yourself why that is. What is the worst thing you can imagine happening regarding meeting someone new? Be honest with yourself. You don't have to show this list to anyone. Once you know what you are truly afraid of, ask yourself what the consequences would be if your worst fear were to be realized. And could you live with those consequences? Using the rejection example again, what would be the consequences of being rejected again? Would you be able to live with that? I think you'll be surprised at how small most of the consequences are, and how easily we could live with them if we had to. Fear has a way of making itself much bigger in our minds than it is in reality! We work ourselves into a sweat, terrified of the "what ifs" -- when in fact, the outcome would be no big deal really. As with most other things, we'd simply pick ourselves up and continue on our way. Once you know what your fears are, and you understand and accept the consequences, immediately do the thing you fear most. Yes, that's right, I'm encouraging you to step out of your comfort zones! Refuse to let fear control you. Tell your fear, "Thanks for trying to protect me, but I'm going to do it anyway." And then just do it. Then do it again. And again. The first few times you step out of your comfort zones, you WILL be uncomfortable. Expect that and accept it. Fear won't vanish overnight. But it will go away after your mind understands that the fear is groundless. Now, just because you conquer your fears and expand your comfort zones doesn't mean you should become reckless either. There is a big difference between blindly leaping into the unknown, and taking a calculated risk. Before acting, take a few minutes to think about the action you want to take, consider the consequences, and ask if you're willing to accept them. If you are, go for it. If you're not, that's all right! Don't feel like you have to push yourself beyond what you'd be willing to accept. You can put the issue on the back burner for awhile and reconsider it later. The point is to stop letting fear make your decisions, and start making them yourself. It will take some time to get used to this new way of thinking, but before long you'll automatically begin questioning your fear and stop letting it control you. Once that happens, there is no telling the levels of success and happiness you can reach!